Kevin Elardi: River Guide
February 10th, 2006 by Malina
The problem with writing a bio for Kevin here is that were he to do it himself it would be much funnier. But in addition to making you laugh, he can also clean an underground oil tank. Life started looking a whole lot more interesting when he gave up that choice profession and came on over to AO. Kevin has done a whole gaggle of stuff for AO: booked trips, managed the South Fork operation, guided river trips, and cleaned fifty million helmets and PFDs. He has even graced the front of our postcards.
Kevin has lived in New York, Florida, South America, and now California. He is a proud graduate of Burger King University.
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February 16th, 2006 at 1:20 am
I was reading my profile and I realized that there are important events missing that have shaped me into what I am today. Most importantly is the apex of my life. It started in Boca Raton Florida, were I moved when I was 18 years old. I moved there on a whim not realizing the wonderful world that was about to open up for me.
Florida is not know for it’s job market and when I moved down there from NY I found that out quickly. You see there was a Taco Bell down the street from my apartment so I figured I would get a job there until I could find something better. I filled out my application and handed it in only to have the manager tell me there was nothing available. I was amazed, I explained to him that “ this is fast food, fast food is always hiringâ€. Still no job. “this is crazy†I said “I have fast food experienceâ€, I had worked at burger king as well as a chicken joint. Finally I excepted the fact, and ended up getting a job at Burger King in Ft Lauderdale.
So I moved into the worst neighborhood in Ft Lauderdale and began my illustrious career. In order to get to work I had to skate board through a cracked out side of town that made frequent appearances on the TV show Cops, the sounds of gun fire in the evening does wonders to calm the soul. At first I was nervous on my commute thinking that I would get mugged or something. Eventually I realized that no one would mess with me because, it’s just not worth your time to bother with a kid in a Burger King uniform on a skate board. There were times I though the crack heads might even give me money just because they felt so bad for me. Ya I had it made but I was greedy and did not share the secret of my new found nirvana with anyone.
The peak came the day I was asked to go to BKU, yes Burger King University. What an honor and, if I may add, quite a perk for my resume. Upon entering BKU the first thing I saw was a 25 foot high painting of the original Burger King character beating the heck out of Ronald McDonald. This was no kids painting, this was done in comic book super hero style with muscles bulging cloths ripped and burgers and milkshakes everywhere.
It was like looking into the eyes of the supreme being and from that point on I know that the world was a beautiful place. I had found peace in the bosom of Burger King University.
Need I say more
Kevin
May 24th, 2007 at 5:01 pm
[...] Kevin Elarde, Pam Andreason, Lindsey [...]
June 22nd, 2007 at 7:51 pm
He also can define estuary.
My mom wants to know if you still have that tattoo on your back, but I told her you probably had that thing removed years ago.
M